Monday Again?

Monday always seems to come too quickly, and my to-do list from the weekend is not finished! A heads up, over the next week or so there will be two guests posts on this blog. I'm taking a little vacation, but don't worry, in the words of the Terminator "I'll be back!" 

Yesterday The Devil Within was sent off for publishing. I'm not sure how long it takes from this point to come out on Amazon, but I'll keep you all informed as now my second release date has come and gone. I'm sure you read my blog post entitled Things Don't Always Go As Planned. This week is take two on that blog post. Apparently pinning down a date when a book will be out is nearly impossible. Next time, I'll put a date out about a month after the anticipated publication date, and then I'll upgrade it if necessary. 

All I can say is the publication process has taught me a couple of things: a) patience and b) everyone in the world procrastinates. I do know that many of the people working on my book at Booktrope are slammed with other processes. I don't hold that against them. Plus, the layout took exactly 4 weeks, and then there are items to be finalized. Patience is not a skill I'm adept at exercising, but I'm getting better at it. I always tell my kids, if you can't change the outcome then what good does getting mad do? A complete waste of energy. 

Anyway! In other news, my first newsletter The Greene Pen is coming out tomorrow. I've worked on it all weekend and I'm finalizing it tonight so it can be in your inboxes like a Christmas present tomorrow! Subscribe by clicking this link (http://eepurl.com/bo4ILP) and entering your information, and you could receive a signed copy of The Devil Within. 

In the meantime, enjoy your week! 

Have you seen my first book on Amazon? Check out No Turning Back today. 

Check out my other blog at laurengreenewrites.com.

Not Easy As Pie

You know the saying, "Easy as pie." Cliche and all that. But I don't think anything in life is easy as pie. I love writing. I mean, love it with a passion. But I hate all the crap that comes with it. I hate marketing. I don't feel like I'm good at it, or I don't know where to start, or everyone currently wants to read a BDSM book about a kid's step-brother's dragon, and I don't write books in any comparable category to what's HOT. But even people who write what the public wants still have to throw themselves out there--into the fire. And sometimes I wonder why I do it, because writing is like a scoop of pain mixed with pleasure (like love). Then I remember I love it and without writing there'd be too much pain or too many characters talking in my head with nowhere to go.

My love of writing came from my childhood. As a kid I used to disappear to my room and play with paper dolls for hours. Some of them I cut out of the Sears catalog. I named them, created families, dialogues, and elaborate stories for my paper dolls. I created apartments out of my bookcases for my Barbie dolls. I wrote stories down, never finished them, but the stories still came to me. I loved to read and write, but I never made As in English. I always made Bs. I struggled with thoughts of my writing not being good enough (I still struggle with this). I wanted to be perfect (I still sometimes do). I still have to tell myself perfection doesn't exist. The authors who have made it did so because they're bulldogs like JK Rowling who worked their asses off and didn't take no for an answer. They didn't let rejection get them down or the 20th pushed back deadline or the fact that procrastination seems to flow through their blood (I don't know if Rowling procrastinates, but I do--way too much).

My book is supposed to be out on the 29th. I'm hoping it will at least hit Amazon by then so I can direct you all to the link. Writing and publishing a book can be frustrating in so many ways. I've had to depend on other people to edit, proofread, and market my book. I've had to wait for layout, for the cover, but in the end I know it will be worth it. I've worked with some great people over at Booktrope on The Devil Within: Nikki Lutz, JC Wing, Sheri Williams, Greg Simanson, and not to mention the layout team and Jesse James. These people know what they're doing as I stumble my way blindly in the dark trying to figure it out for the first time. Publishing a book is the equivalent to waiting for a big bowl of ice cream after you finish your food; you know it's going to taste so good but first you have to eat your Brussels sprouts (I do love Brussels though, so maybe this isn't the best analogy)

All of this to say, I'm still hoping The Devil Within will be out by June 29th. Stay tuned to this site to see if it is. And don't forget to sign up for my newsletter at http://eepurl.com/bo4ILP.

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/laurenegreene

Elusive Sleep

3:30 AM.  I was staring at the ceiling, noticing that we don't have cracks, and listening to the soft breathing of Darling Daughter next to me as she slept soundly.  She sleeps soundly whenever she has her security blanket with her: ME. 

I hate waking up at 3:30 and wanting to go back to sleep.  I think the more you wish sleep would come, the more it eludes you.  Your brain starts to wander, and then suddenly you are the Queen of Egypt and it's 600 B.C.  When I was little, I thought creating stories in my head would help me fall asleep, but now it makes my mind WIDE awake.  My brain is ready for more, ready to be creative, spill the words out, and suddenly I am more awake than ever, and I'm still staring at the ceiling but now the clock says 3:33. 

Things that don't work when you have insomnia:

• Counting Sheep: Why would you want to do this anyway?

• Coming Up with Crazy Stories or Alternate Realities in Your Head:  This passes the time, but won't help you get shut eye.  This may help you come up with a wonderful idea for a novel, which may one day be published if you're lucky and/or rich or both.  Everyone can dream right?  Even when you are staring at the ceiling wide awake.

• Drink Warm Milk:  One word: GROSS!!!

To be fair to you all, my audience of 20 people, I don't fight insomnia much these days.  I usually fall off to sleep, and I awake about ten minutes before my alarm.  I think this has to do with my biological clock.  If you go to bed around the same time and wake up around the same time every day, your body sort of regulates itself. 

Yesterday was emotional though and having an emotional day makes you do one of two things: sleep TOO MUCH or sleep NOT ENOUGH.  My body chose NOT ENOUGH last night.  I cried yesterday and then I laughed.  I laughed and laughed and laughed, which was a nice diversion from the crying.  Laughing is a great defense mechanism when emotions are too hard to handle.   

My goal this year was to laugh more, and I think I may have accomplished that in one day.  At 3:30 in the morning, I should have just stepped out of bed and left Darling Daughter Vampire Chicken Princess snoozing soundly, hopped on the computer and started writing.  I could have used the extra time to my advantage.  Instead I reflected on the funeral yesterday. I thought about my friend who lost her mother and how I could help her.  I thought about the color PURPLE.  I didn't come up with any good story lines, plots or climaxes, and I didn't continue to revise my book despite the need.  Part of the reason is my free trial to Word expired, and since I'm a procrastinator I haven't yet downloaded the $9 version my work offers.  I need to get on that, like today.  It's not like I own a typewriter or some other mechanism that could help me set words down on paper: like a pencil and a piece of paper. 

Hopefully if I'm awake at 3:30 tomorrow morning, Word will be installed on my computer, and my brain can relax as I revise, revise, revise.  Or maybe I can work on my 2nd novel, which is a great diversion from revising my first novel. 

Procrastination

I am tired today.  So tired.  My allergies are acting up, and Alabama has been a pit of rain for two, going on three days.  I stumbled down to my coffee, sat down, put on my ear buds and Pandora, and opened up Facebook.  It took me almost all the way through Twinkle Twinkle Little Star to realize that my Pandora was on the kid's Lullaby station.  Wow. My mind at work. 

I have always been a procrastinator.  I've always been one of those people who'd rather do one thing over another, putting off the "other" thing eternally because I just don't want to do it.  I am still that way, because procrastination goes hand in hand with perfectionism, and I'm that too: a perfectionist.

Every day there is something I put off: making dinner, signing papers, CLEANING, a project at work, Yearbook: any number of things.  Procrastination doesn't help though: it makes it worse.  When you procrastinate, and it is something that absolutely has to be done, you end up rushing and this leads to stress and anxiety.  I used to think that I worked best under a close deadline, but as I've gotten older I've realized if I plot my time out, and I have enough time to do what I need to get done then I feel better about the accomplishment.

I still procrastinate CLEANING.  A part of my brain says, "Why bother doing that?  Those kids who live with you are just going to mess it up again."  A part of my brain says, "Why can't we just hire a maid?"  Excuses to not do what I'm supposed to be doing.  There is a reason inside for every single thing you procrastinate.  You just have to explore that reason, find out what it is, and then address the issue. 

I know what it is about cleaning that bothers me.  It makes me feel obsessive compulsive.  Once I start, I have a hard time stopping.  I want it to be PERFECT (and we all know there is no such thing as perfect).  I don't like the way it feels while I'm doing it, but I do like the outcome.  Because of this, an unfair burden of housework falls on my husband.  Plus, I am ALWAYS procrastinating doing the housework, but he makes a list daily and generally crosses items off his list.  These are his daily goals, and they keep the house clean, the kids fed and dressed, and the household moving forward.  As he says, "Well, someone has to do it," and by that he means, "It sure as hell isn't going to be you!"

I've learned this year how to stop procrastinating (a little bit, and obviously not in the cleaning arena yet).  Routine helps procrastination end.  I don't procrastinate writing anymore, because my routine calls for me to work on my novel from 5:30 AM to 6:15 AM every morning.  I don't procrastinate at work, because I don't have time to put anything off.  Mostly, it's just an at home thing now.

It's something I'll probably need to work on the rest of my life, but not now: I think I'll read right now, or write, maybe play a game on the computer, or watch television...