Adventures in Pee and Poop

You know the absolute worst part of being a parent?  No, it's not the guilt you feel over every single tiny mistake, or the fact that maybe you're ruining your kid's self-esteem, or better yet you're turning your kid into a jerk.  No, it's none of those things.  It's potty training. 

Potty training is a nightmare, and I think somewhere in the back of my mind I wonder why I didn't stop at one kid when the first one was so hard to train. 

Here's a little history of potty training, thus far in our family:

Son Number One, awww...wasn't he cute?

Hard to believe he's now 8.  He'll hate me for posting this one day, when he's old enough. The photo above was taken shortly after potty training success.  Here's how potty training went with him.

His daycare told us, maybe the minute after he turned 2, that they were ready to potty train.  Bring on the pull-ups!  Pull-ups are the worst invention ever, because a) they are more expensive than diapers and b) they make your kid think he/she is a big kid while he/she is still pissing in their pants!  Number One wasn't having any of this potty training business.  No thank you!  So we tried all the tricks.  Number One is the first, so of course he's the guinea pig for the others.  Poor thing. 

First, we tried putting cheerios in the potty.  Um--whoever came up with that idea didn't think of a few things.  Potty is where pee and poop go, not cheerios!!!  A two year old is constantly eating and cheerios are the snack of choice, so instead of the pee going into the ring of cheerios, the hand goes into the potty, fetches the cheerios and eats them.  DISGUSTING!  Onto another suggestion: the sticker chart.

Number One is not like other kids.  Stickers just don't do it for him, and they never have.  He could have cared less about getting a sticker. 

In the end, we moved the potty chair into the living room, and he sat on it bare-bummed for a few months while watching Diego or Dora or some equally WONDERFUL children's show.  He'd occasionally go by accident, and we'd be all proud, and he's get some treat.  But what worked, you may ask?  Waiting until he was ready.  The weekend of his 3rd birthday we put him in underwear.  Out went the pull-ups.  He had two accidents, and then never had another one.  Voila.  None of the other tricks seemed to work.

And then came Son Number Two. 

If I could put a halo on his head I would.  I was dreading potty training with Number Two after our many unsuccessful attempts with Number One.  But this kid just did it all by himself, by the time he was 2 years old.

I noticed, and I told Hubby, that Number Two seemed dry at night. We put him in underwear, maybe a month after Darling Daughter was born.  He has had ONE daytime accident since in THREE years!  We made the poor kid wear pull-ups at night for about six months after he day trained, because we were fully convinced he was not night trained despite the fact that he'd wake up dry every morning.  He didn't mind though, because they had Lightning McQueen on them! 

Finally took him out of the night time pull-up, and guess what? No accidents.  Easiest potty training adventure thus far.  Ughh--if only they all could be the same (but seriously, what fun would that be?)

Then came Darling Daughter.  Everyone said, "Oh, girls are so easy to potty train.  Just wait.  She'll be peeing on the potty at 18 months."  Sometimes I wonder why I ever listen to people.

Sure, she's cute, and she's sweet, and she's spoiled rotten:

But, I'm beginning to wonder if she's ever going to be potty trained.  She's going on three, and so far she's interested in actually SITTING on the potty, for like a split second, and then she says, "All done," and wants to wash her hands.

I'm starting to think she's a little OCD too, because she wants to wash her hands ALL THE TIME!  She also has to put the cover to the potty down every time she goes, no exceptions.  She's so funny.  Oh, and did I say every time she goes?  I meant to say every time she PRETENDS to go! 

We've had some poop success, believe it or not.  She seems to know when she wants to poop, which is odd as that usually comes last.  We've also had some poop accidents, and let me tell you those are not pretty!

She seems to love sitting on the potty.  She wants to sit on every potty everywhere we go.  She just doesn't want to go.  She LOVES stickers, unlike her look-alike brother, but they don't seem to work for this.  I guess if I'm learning from Number One, then I just need to wait until she's ready and stop rushing her.  Some days it feels like she's never going to potty train, but I know that's not true and in a few years I'll be looking back on this post and laughing and wondering how my baby grew up so quickly.