Friday, December 30, 2011

Reflections: A Year in Review (Part II)

Reflections: Continued from Earlier in the Day:

July – My sister came to visit, and we had a wonderful time.  She fell in love with Darling Daughter.  Who wouldn’t?  After she left, Hubby, the three kids, and I drove up to Rhode Island.  Yes, drove, 24 hours in a car with 3 kids.  The trip went splendidly.  Portable DVD players are a gift from God.  It helped that earlier in the year we had bought a minivan, so the kids could be separated.  One of us sat in the back with them, and overall the ride up there was not hard.  Son# 1 had a hard time with the transition of being in a new place for the week.  We realized that the medicines he had been on were affecting his mood.  He had a major meltdown, and it was very hard on me (as I’m sure it was hard on him).  Still, we enjoyed visiting Hubby’s family, and seeing old friends.  We had not been up there in a long time (three years to be exact).

August – Son # 1 started first grade!  We decided to take him off all medication at the end of this month.  This was the best thing we could have done.  We saw almost immediate improvement in his moods.  He is still hyper, but the more growing he does the more he calms down.  We’ve also noticed that his hyperactivity is linked to his anxiety from changes and transitions.  He does not do well with change.  This is hard for his Mommy, who loves change and does not love routine!   He has shown us what a smart guy he is in school this year, and has begun to expand his love for math.  He also loves animals, reptiles, geography, and he’ll absorb any information having to do with these subjects.  I bought a wig for $50, and it fit my face so much better.  Everyone said it made me look sassy.  I began to build up my confidence again, and resolve the stress of losing my hair.  I noticed a lump in my thyroid while at work. 

September – I had the thyroid checked out and biopsied.  The result came back as a benign cyst with follicular cells.  It will have to be monitored every three months.  It was 2.3 cms, which is fairly large for a thyroid cyst, but the FNA (fine needle aspiration) reduced it, as it was mostly fluid filled with a little follicular debris.  (I went back today 12/29/11—and it is only 1.4 cms now, almost reduced in half).  For a few days, I worried about thyroid cancer.  Thyroid cancer is pretty much the best cancer you can have, but still it was a worry.  To think you have cancer is terrifying, even if it is the best cancer you can have.  I remember thinking about death.  I’m an over thinker, but this little health scare made me really look at my life and see the changes I need to make within myself in order to be a better person.  It made me more spiritual, and it made me more aware that when you are gone, you’re gone (from earth—I don’t know what happens when you die, but I like to believe there is some sort of afterlife).  Your legacy and how you treated others, this is how you'll be remembered.  I want to be thought of as a good wife, mother, and person, and so it’s time to start making changes while I can.

October – This month was a blur.  It went by, and I was depressed most of the time.  We were looking for a house, but trying to make sure Son #1 stayed in the same school district, so that he would not have to change schools—a transition I didn’t want to deal with.  We found a house, then it fell through, then we had to find another one so that we could be out of our rental by the end of December.  The strain of the house hunting was hard for our marriage.  Hubby and I had (and have to) make an effort to keep up communication.  We’re notoriously bad communicators.  We started being more mindful of each other’s feelings.  I really made an effort to go to taekwondo three to four days a week, at night, so that I could test in December for my green belt.  The idea of sparring, and getting rid of pent up aggression called to me!  Plus, exercise made me feel better most of the time, so I could give my all to my relationships within my family. 

November – Son# 1 turned 7!  We had a spend-the-night party for him, in which 7 six and seven year olds descended on my house.  No one died, and they all fell asleep by about 11:30, so I’d call that a success.  We found a new, larger house, than the one before and closed on it.  We decided to move into the house in December.  I began writing again.  I started out just writing journal entries to myself.  Every day, I’d take a little time out to write.  I realized that I had all of these emotions that felt good to verbally throw-up on paper.  It helped me to sort out my feelings and to put them into words.  It also helped me realize how amazing my life is.  I am surrounded by beautiful, sweet children.  I have a husband who loves me and cares about me through thick and thin.  I have parents who will do anything for me.  I have friends who are always there when I need them.  I need to be gracious and accepting of those around me.  I need to stop looking at faults and quit criticizing, bring out the good in others, not the bad. 

December – We started out December with a move into our new house.  New house = New Beginning.  Renewed Happiness.  I am making more of an effort to be a better me.  I’m starting to pay more attention to my life, my health, and the needs of the people around me.  I have wonderful friends and an amazing family.  Reading back through my journal entries at the beginning of November, I can see that I was in a bad place, but I can also see how much I’ve grown and how much I’ve learned from this year of triumphs and challenges.    I feel like this year was a gift (from God, maybe?), in order for me to grow as a person, socially, emotionally, and spiritually.

Looking forward to 2012...


  1. Love you too, Kels! Thanks, and I know 2012 will be better.

  2. Wow, Lauren. Loved reading this. What a year for you! I wish I had been more aware of everything you have been going through. Here's to a better 2012! Keep the positive attitude. Love you!


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