There's No Turning Back Now!

Yesterday was a monumental day for me.  Yesterday, I changed my life.  Yesterday, I did something I've been saying I was going to do for years.  Yesterday, I listed my book on Amazon for pre-sale.

You can pre-order it here: http://www.amazon.com/No-Turning-Back-Lauren-Greene-ebook/dp/B00SM94ENU/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1422013133&sr=8-1&keywords=No+turning+back+by+lauren+greene&pebp=1422013147725&peasin=B00SM94ENU

It's also now on Goodreads, so if you love it (which I hope you do), you can add a review.

Link to my Goodreads author's page: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/13113697.Lauren_Greene

The thing is, the day went by like every other.  I went to work, I went to Number Two's basketball practice, I came home and ate dinner with the family, then we all snuggled on the couch and watched an episode of "The Simpson's."  After the kids went to bed, I worked for two hours on sending another piece of work in for submission and putting, "No Turning Back," on Amazon.

People ask me how I do everything I do. I have a lot going on in my life: I work a full time job, take care of three kids, write, and sell Jamberry nails. I exercise consistently, and I have a social life too.

The thing is, when you have a dream you do whatever it takes to achieve it.  If you really want to succeed in life, then you have to work for it and stop waiting for it to come to you.  It won't ever come to you, if you don't put the effort into making it happen.  Three years ago, I was "woe is me". I wanted to be an author, but I didn't realize the work I had to put into it (and let me tell you, it's a lot of work but well worth it). To make it happen, I've had to spend countless hours writing, editing, socializing with writer's groups, reading about how to create an e-book (which I didn't have to do on my own thanks to +Dash McCallen), and figuring out how to get my name out there.  The book may sell one copy, or fifty copies, or it could be a bestseller.  I don't really care.  What I do care about is that I decided I was going to do this, and I went for it.  I stopped worrying about what everyone else thinks about me. I know there will be people who don't like my book, and that's okay.  I stopped doubting myself.  I started believing in the power of me, and that gave me the ability to live my dreams.

You can live yours too!

Check me out on Wattpad. 

Follow @laurenegreene

Deep Thoughts: Yoga and Happiness

Today I went to yoga.  I have slowly started incorporating it into my life again.  The last time I went I was 21 years old, six months from graduating from college, and experiencing great turmoil with all the change taking place in my life.  This time, I'm going to do something for me, something to help make me happy and relaxed.  

I've been thinking of happiness this week, and when I'm in yoga those thoughts spring up too: how to be happy.  I'm finding happiness in my life in unexpected ways: by making new friends, reconnecting with old friends, by setting writing goals AGAIN, and by trying to find contentment and purpose in my every day existence.  I feel so much of life slips away from us while we're staring at our cell phone screen.  So much time simply flies by because we get caught up in trivial problems, and we let them overtake us.  Sometimes we don't meet our true potential, because we are scared of achievement, of putting ourselves out there, and of just doing what we know would truly bring us the greatest happiness and sense of purpose. We are paralyzed by a sense of powerlessness, even though we all have with in us an ability to change our own outcome for the better.  

During yoga, I concentrate on my breathing: in and out, in and out.  I listen to the rhythm my breath makes.  I try to concentrate on the breath, and I usually see it as colors: inhale/red, exhale/blue.  My mind feels free and the tension washes away.  Afterwards, I feel utterly calm and happy.  When my usual smile stretches across my face it feels genuine; it's not just a mask for other hidden feelings.  Wouldn't it be amazing to feel that way every day?  
But, as I read in an article earlier this week, happiness is fleeting and it's meant to be that way.  Humans have an intense want to make temporary things permanent.  They catch onto a feeling that made them feel so wonderful, and they want to feel it over and over again, instead of experiencing it and then letting it go, enjoying the memory, but not wanting to re-live the same moment indefinitely.   

The other day at the dinner table, Number One and I were talking about this, and I said, "Wouldn't it be wonderful if you only felt joy?"  

And he said, wise beyond his nine years, "But Mom, then you wouldn't know what it was because you'd never have felt sorrow."  

And he's so right.  Without sorrow, would joyfulness be less joyful?  Would joy even exist?  

Sometimes after Shavasana, instead of feeling intensely happy, I feel an intense need to cry. I think this is from releasing into the meditation, from letting things go, the need to cry is a physical manifestation of the tension melting away.  Sorrow and happiness all melted into one, like a littmus lozenge (from Because of Winn Dixie).  The feeling is bitter sweet, the letting go of things you carry is hard, because sometimes as you let go you feel like you've lost a part of yourself.  

I believe the key to happiness is living in the moment.  Not looking to the past.  Not looking to the future, but simply being aware of your emotions, being aware of yourself, and living your life in a way that you can accept what has happened, what will happen, and being aware of the inability to change what you can't control.  Setting goals, and realizing you dictate your own future, can help too.  So many people wallow in their sorrow.  They don't find a way to dig out.  They aren't aware of the power inside of them to reach their goals and to live a life that will make them happy.  I, myself, am guilty of this: wondering why I can't get where I want to, but often not taking the action to make a positive change.  Without action, no change can occur: negative or positive.  Why not take the risk?  Without the risk, there can be no chance of failure, but there's also no chance of success.

Find something that makes you happy: be it yoga, reading, Zumba, talking to a friend for hours on the phone, or chasing after your giggling children, who live for today, and don't think about what tomorrow will bring.  Fleeting moments in time.

I'll Never Do a Pull-Up

My whole body aches this morning.  My arms feel like they were set on fire.  My shoulder blades don't want to move without eliciting a searing pain down my back.  I think Mr. Johnson and Mr. Jones at Taekwondo were intent on wearing out our arms this week. I hate push-ups, because after two and a half years of taking Taekwondo, I can still pretty much only do them from my knees.  Another thing I learned this week: I can't for the life of me do a pull-up.  I tried this week, and I failed miserably.  I even had a chair to stand on to get me started.  I put my hands on the pull-up bar, and I dropped, trying to pull myself up, then just felt my body sinking until I hit the ground.  

This little defeat reminded me, oh so much, of the days of the Presidential Fitness Award.  It reminded me of dressing out at gym in my navy Shorts and white MA tee-shirt (GO NAVY!!!), and standing in the weight room looking at that pull-up bar with distress.  While the boys could do any number of pull-ups (seemingly), I couldn't even pull myself up, and in those days I weighed like 90 pounds or less!  Some things never change (my inability to do a pull-up.  I will never see 90 lbs again)! 

I probably for the life of me will never be able to do a pull-up, but I look at my arms from all the exercise I've been doing and they're getting in shape.  They look about a gazillion times better now than they did back in 2011 before I started taking Taekwondo. 

I was thinking last night, while procrastinating, about how as human beings we always want more and we always want better.  We're never satisfied with what we have.  I don't know if this is true of all humans--probably not--but certainly Americans have this mentality.  I was thinking about how I look at my body, and I see little pouches of fat, and I see all the imperfections written on me, some of them go along with a story, an injury or a birth of a child.  I was focusing on the imperfections, instead of seeing what I've achieved.  I'm a second level brown belt.  I've been exercising consistently for two years.  Yeah, I might not have a perfect body, but I have a healthy body and that should be what's important.  I might look at the models and the actresses in the magazines or on television, and wish I could be like them.  I want more than I can have.  These actresses/models have personal trainers for about eight hours a day.  They either don't eat or they eat a diet prepared by a chef in their glorious mansions.  They certainly are not sitting on their A$$ for eight hours at work, and they certainly aren't sitting at a computer in all their free time trying to write a book.  The ones who do write probably dictate that as they run to some lowly assistant who then has to type it out for them and gets absolutely no credit.  Yeah--you know what I'm talking about.

I'm one of those people who was born into a "wanting" more mentality, and I'm not sure why.  Maybe my imagination takes me to places I shouldn't go, or maybe I have an unrealistic expectation of how to succeed.  But I'm trying to be happy with what I have.  I'm trying to look at my life, my body, my writing, and tell myself I have what I NEED.  Because I do.  Right now, I have everything I need.  I'm healthy and fit.  I have wonderful children.  I have a drive that will hopefully one day let me become a successful author.   This is all I need.  Who would want more?

Time

Since school started, I've commented how there is so little time in the day.  People ask me all the time where I find time to write.  How do you find time to work, to exercise, to be a Mom and to write?  Let me ask you this: how do you find time to breath?  Writing for me is almost like breathing.  I feel best when I'm writing.  Take it as a form of therapy, or a way to work through some problem I'm having, or just a way to escape from the harsh reality of the world sometimes.  When I'm writing I feel the most well adjusted.  I feel whole.

I read Stephen King's, "On Writing," and he was discussing people who only had one book published or only EVER wrote one book, and he made some flippant comment like, "What were they doing with all their time?  Knitting socks?"  When you're a writer you're driven to write.  You're motivated to do it, because it's what you like doing best.  You write because you HAVE to write. When I watch Number One on the P-bars or the rings and I see how he sometimes reluctantly leaves the floor if he hasn't perfected the skill, I understand, because that's how I feel about writing.  Determined to make it perfect.  Determined not to give up.  Determined to succeed. 

So how do I find the time?  I make the time.  I wake up super early: 5:00-5:30, depending on whether I've hit the snooze button.  I check Facebook, and I usually lose a few games of Candy Crush, the world's biggest time suck, then I pour my second cup of coffee and I edit or write.  I research ideas, or I simply put my fingers to the keyboard and type to my heart's content.  I'm usually a little miserable when the alarm on my phone goes off reminding me I have a real job and that's it time to get ready for the day.

At night, I do the same thing again.  I use all the minutes of the day to do the thing I'm most driven to do: write.  It's my passion, and I can feel the determination pouring from me, and it's a lot better use of my time than playing Candy Crush, or surfing Facebook, or watching cheesy movies and shows on Netflix or Amazon Prime.  (Although I do admit that I do those things--everyone needs a break from work every once in awhile, even if it's work you love). 

In order to succeed you have to work hard.  You have time if you look for it, even if it's twenty minutes a day to do the thing you love the best or the thing you must need to do for yourself: Just do it.  Stop making excuses, go for it and live your dreams.

Driven to Succeed

Every Friday night, like clockwork, I say this to Hubby:  Tomorrow I'm sleeping late.  You can wake up with the kids.

Every Saturday night, like clockwork, my biological clock wakes me up at 5:00 AM.  Seriously!  Can't I sleep later?

I did sleep like a log last night though.  I slept upstairs in the guest bedroom, because Darling Daughter wouldn't stay in her bed.  I had the fan going full blast in the small space, and I wrapped the blanket around my entire body as I love to do.  I fell asleep, and I didn't wake up once...until 5:00 AM.

That's okay though.  I have big plans for today, and I think it's always easier to execute your plans when you get an early start.  I'm so much more productive in the morning than any other part of the day.  By the afternoon, I'm a lazy lump on the log, and I usually have to force myself to go anywhere.  I'd rather be parked in our La-Z Boy, reading a book, or writing.

I'm going to use this extra time today to continue formatting my book.  This is actually a great practice in allowing me to fully edit the draft again.  It would have been nice to have the foresight to put chapter headings in the manuscript while I was writing, and who knows why I didn't, but I have learned from my mistake. 

Yesterday I finally created an author Facebook page.  Check it out at https://www.facebook.com/elliegreenewrites, and make sure to click the like button!  I thought this would be a great place to promote my blog, as well as my book--when it actually exist. 

I'm driving full speed towards e-publishing now, because it just seems like it's the place to go if you want to get your name out there at all.  Dead tree books, as some people like to call them, are becoming more obsolete, so online seems the way to go. 

There are some pros and cons to e-publishing.

Pro: Your name gets out into the writing world, well at least a little bit.  On my Query letters to "real agents," I can now saw I'm e-published.  I did it myself, well who cares, there's a finished product the agent can read to get a taste of whether or not she/he would like to take me on as a client.  She can also glance at the number of reviews and downloads to see how successful I've been. 

Con:  You're competing with so many other authors and also with a lot of junk.  Anyone can get e-published.  It seriously is as simple as pushing a button.  The key is making your book stand out in some way.  I'm doing this by having my talented artist of a brother do my cover.  I know he'll do a great job, and I'm hoping he will get some publicity from it too. 

Pro: Reviews.  E-Books are reviewed.  Now, I know not everyone reading my book will review it on Amazon when they download it, but hopefully most of my "friends" will.  Reviews help increase sales (if they're good).  They also show an author what he/she may be doing wrong or need to work on. 

Con: Marketing and advertising is all done by ME.  I have a full time job, a mom of 3, and I have to exercise and continue to write.  All of this before a 9:30 bedtime seems almost impossible, but it is a must if I want to be successful. 

Pro: Published is better than non-published any day.

My goal in life has been to become a published author, and I can make this happen.  So much about life is taking your inertia and pushing it towards a momentum of success.  Many people sit back and they wait for things to come to them.  They can wait all their life and nothing will happen.  In order to be successful, you must have drive, determination, and persistence.

Don't forget to like my Facebook author page at: https://www.facebook.com/elliegreenewrites

 

 

 

Motivation Revisited...Again

I've always had problems with motivation.  In high school, I think I studied a handful of times.  My Dad and I would have yelling, screaming matches, as he would try to have me do my homework downstairs at the breakfast room table, just trying to make sure I got it done. I usually did finish it, with a lot of huffing and puffing. 

In college, I was self motivated, mainly because my goal was to stay as far away from home as I could.  I was in Washington D.C., and I was loving life, and my ability to stay there hinged on me not failing out of school.  I did it, pulling off a 3.75 and figured out how to set attainable goals, but still when I left school I was an idealist and somewhat thought things would just be handed to me.  I didn't realize you have to work hard for everything you want.  What you put in is what you get out. 

For a long time I was afraid.  I still am, some most days.  Afraid to succeed, afraid of rejection, afraid to love, afraid to get to0 close, afraid to lose.  But you can't live your life being afraid.  You have to take that initial step, that risk; in order to succeed you have to risk failing first. 

Son Number One is a motivated kid.  After getting used to (and hating homework), he now studies his times tables in the car.  He works hard at gymnastics.  He'll work extremely hard to earn points to get rewards.  He inherently *knows* how the system works.  I wish I had at age 8, but I was lost in my make believe world, busy playing with my imaginary friends and living in fantasy land.  Some days I still live in fantasy land.  Fantasy land can be a wonderful diversion, but it won't get you anywhere.  You can say: I'm going to win the lottery, but if you never buy a ticket then you definitely WILL NOT. 

Sometimes when things don't go my way I start acting like a petulant child.  Maybe everyone is this way.  But I start to drive all the motivation out of my body.  All I want to do is sit on the couch and be lazy and ignore everyone.  I have to fight super hard against that to get myself back in the game.  This week I got back into the game.

I risked, and I won a little bit, and I lost a little bit.  Here's what happens when you take a risk:

• I motivated myself to stay on MyFitnessPal, and I lost 3 pounds
• I started editing my book again.  I sent out to another agent.  I wrote some words.
• I received a rejection, but it was a nice rejection encouraging me to keep working on my second novel and sending out to other agents. 
• Despite feeling lazy yesterday, I left the house and cycled 5.5 miles.  I burned 314 calories.

To me, setting the goals and motivating yourself is worth taking the risk.  What's the worst that can happen?  If I never submitted my book, or finished my book, or even started writing my book then NOTHING would happen.  But, because I finished a novel and started submitting it, I'm getting feedback, and even if that feedback is negative it's encouraging me to keep at it: to follow my dreams.  It's showing me that I CAN DO THIS!!!  Take a risk, and you will succeed.  Motivate yourself and you will get there. 

Do Nothing, and you will get exactly that: NOTHING! 

In One Year

In One Year:

• I've taken approximately 8,500,000 breaths.
• I've blinked about 7,700,000 times.
• I've slept about 2,555 hours. That's approximately 106.46
• I've drank 1,095 cups of coffee. 
• I've made 3 goals per week for a total of 156 goals per year.
• I've followed through on roughly 117 of those goals.
• I finished writing 1 novel.
• I edited the novel, and I moaned and complained about editing the novel about 60 times.
• I was rejected by 4 agents.
• I read 22 books
• I hugged my kids about 1,825 times...probably more.
• I told someone I loved them about 2,500 times...probably more.
• I did about 208 hours of Taekwondo.
• I cried 26 times.
• I lost 20 pounds
• I gained 10 pounds
• I've laughed 5,475 times. 
• My sons have probably laughed about 109,500 EACH!  The world is funnier when you're smaller, apparently!
• I've worked 2,080 hours.
• I've burned about 200,000 calories
• I've run 1 5K.

These are my yearly accomplishments.  It's funny.  When you're going through your day, you never think about how something looks in a year.  Working 2,080 hours seems insane, but we all do it.  Laughing 109,500 times in a year seems AWESOME!!!  Writing 1 book and running 1 5K were my biggest accomplishments this year. Maybe my next birthday when I do this list again having my book published will be my biggest accomplishment.

For me, goals help me keep track of the big picture.  I've set goals over the last couple of years, and I maintain weekly goals.  I strive for what I achieve; sometimes veering off track and sometimes letting the emotions of the day get in the way.  I always find my way back.  Looking at the big picture like this is fun, but setting yearly goals doesn't help, because it's too overwhelming.  It's more fun to look at your annual successes, to think about how all those weekly goals added up to such a huge success.

People who are successful in weight loss and just in life in general know that goal setting is a huge part of the process.  In order to achieve what you want, you have to go for it.  You have to be able to make realistic goals for yourself and then do something about achieving those goals.  For me, it started with setting a routine.  I want to write 2,000 words a day, so I will.  And yes, sometimes routine gets old, and then you need to change it up.  No one wants ho hum all the time.  If we had ho hum we would never laugh as much as my boys do!

My goal this year (after just saying annual goals don't work) is to LAUGH more.  My goal is to stop rolling my eyes when I think something isn't funny.  My goal is to live in the moment with my kids, to love them and hug them more.  My goal is to listen more. My goal is to feel more satisfied with myself and my achievements and to stop being such a dang perfectionist all the time.  After all, I achieved a lot this year and I have a lot to be proud of and thankful for in my life.