Dish Rags Don't Belong In The Sink

Do you have pet peeves? Sure, everyone does. Mine are things like this: don't leave the cap off the toothpaste and don't leave the kitchen cabinets open. Stupid things, that for some reason drive me absolutely insane.  I used to have a lot of pet peeves, and I used to make them all known. Critical Kelly, or whatever.

Today I woke up at 4 AM, and I found this in the bathroom sink:

I have a child, not to be named, who always does this:

Crazy Eyed Shepherd

A few years ago, the dishrag in the sink would have made me livid. I mean, steam coming out of my ears kind of mad. I used to have an anger problem. It's funny, because Number One struggles with controlling his emotions, and sometimes I ask myself why? Well, I can look right back at myself because I was that person for years.

I realized a few years ago, that dish rags in the sink DON'T matter. Who cares? Tell the kid not to put the dish rag in the sink, remind him over and over again, and he still does it. Obviously, he needed a wet rag to make the swoop on his hair perfect, or to stop the bloody noses that plague him all winter. In the scheme of things, is it important that I have to remind him to remove the dish rags from the sink a hundred times? There's absolutely no reason to get upset about it. A few years ago, though, I would have seen that in the sink and I would have seethed. When he woke up, the first words out of my mouth would probably have been caustic and punishing. I would have pushed him away from me, instead of holding him tight. I only have a few short years left with this crazy-eyed, wild kid before he moves off on his own. I want him to know he's loved and accepted. I want him to know how to make himself happy: by letting go of the small things.

You see, there's no point in getting wrapped up in the small things. All it does is take you away from the big things that you should be present for. It takes you away from the moment where your child might wake up and say, "Hey, I had the best dream." Or the moment when they're lying in bed next to you, and they're spilling their heart to you, because you're having one-on-one time and that's precious and rare. If you're always getting upset about the little things, then you're pushing people away. You're using it as an excuse not to let people get close to you. Trust me, I know, because I used to be that person (and I still sometimes am-a constant struggle).

It's so easy to change this too.  Be conscious of what you say to others and how you interact. Smile at people.  Let people know they're loved and accepted, even when they're being "corrected." When you feel anger rising up in you, count to ten, or walk away.  Come back to the problem at a later time if it angers you too much in the moment.  Think about it this way: if the dishrag is in the sink and I don't want it there, then I can pick it up and move it but I can't force someone else to do that. I can advise my child to not do it again, but chances are he will. I can use it as a learning experience, and make fun and conversation afterwards, instead of using it as a distancing tool simply in my tone and demeanor.

Do you get mad because there are dishrags in the sink?

******************************************************

Don't forget to enter my Give-A-Away for "No Turning Back"

a Rafflecopter giveaway

You Can Buy my book, "No Turning Back": 

Amazon US: http://amzn.to/1BDMdPf

Amazon UK: http://amzn.to/1Lurplw

Kobo: http://bit.ly/169NJ3D

Barnes and Noble: http://bit.ly/1EWHdJe

You can find more of me online in these locations:

Website: http://www.lululandadventures.blogspot.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/laurengreenewrites

Goodreads: http://bit.ly/1CKGGue

Twitter: https://twitter.com/laurenegreene

Google+: http://bit.ly/1DgXK9i

Wattpad: http://www.wattpad.com/user/LaurenGreene4

Deep Thoughts: Yoga and Happiness

Today I went to yoga.  I have slowly started incorporating it into my life again.  The last time I went I was 21 years old, six months from graduating from college, and experiencing great turmoil with all the change taking place in my life.  This time, I'm going to do something for me, something to help make me happy and relaxed.  

I've been thinking of happiness this week, and when I'm in yoga those thoughts spring up too: how to be happy.  I'm finding happiness in my life in unexpected ways: by making new friends, reconnecting with old friends, by setting writing goals AGAIN, and by trying to find contentment and purpose in my every day existence.  I feel so much of life slips away from us while we're staring at our cell phone screen.  So much time simply flies by because we get caught up in trivial problems, and we let them overtake us.  Sometimes we don't meet our true potential, because we are scared of achievement, of putting ourselves out there, and of just doing what we know would truly bring us the greatest happiness and sense of purpose. We are paralyzed by a sense of powerlessness, even though we all have with in us an ability to change our own outcome for the better.  

During yoga, I concentrate on my breathing: in and out, in and out.  I listen to the rhythm my breath makes.  I try to concentrate on the breath, and I usually see it as colors: inhale/red, exhale/blue.  My mind feels free and the tension washes away.  Afterwards, I feel utterly calm and happy.  When my usual smile stretches across my face it feels genuine; it's not just a mask for other hidden feelings.  Wouldn't it be amazing to feel that way every day?  
But, as I read in an article earlier this week, happiness is fleeting and it's meant to be that way.  Humans have an intense want to make temporary things permanent.  They catch onto a feeling that made them feel so wonderful, and they want to feel it over and over again, instead of experiencing it and then letting it go, enjoying the memory, but not wanting to re-live the same moment indefinitely.   

The other day at the dinner table, Number One and I were talking about this, and I said, "Wouldn't it be wonderful if you only felt joy?"  

And he said, wise beyond his nine years, "But Mom, then you wouldn't know what it was because you'd never have felt sorrow."  

And he's so right.  Without sorrow, would joyfulness be less joyful?  Would joy even exist?  

Sometimes after Shavasana, instead of feeling intensely happy, I feel an intense need to cry. I think this is from releasing into the meditation, from letting things go, the need to cry is a physical manifestation of the tension melting away.  Sorrow and happiness all melted into one, like a littmus lozenge (from Because of Winn Dixie).  The feeling is bitter sweet, the letting go of things you carry is hard, because sometimes as you let go you feel like you've lost a part of yourself.  

I believe the key to happiness is living in the moment.  Not looking to the past.  Not looking to the future, but simply being aware of your emotions, being aware of yourself, and living your life in a way that you can accept what has happened, what will happen, and being aware of the inability to change what you can't control.  Setting goals, and realizing you dictate your own future, can help too.  So many people wallow in their sorrow.  They don't find a way to dig out.  They aren't aware of the power inside of them to reach their goals and to live a life that will make them happy.  I, myself, am guilty of this: wondering why I can't get where I want to, but often not taking the action to make a positive change.  Without action, no change can occur: negative or positive.  Why not take the risk?  Without the risk, there can be no chance of failure, but there's also no chance of success.

Find something that makes you happy: be it yoga, reading, Zumba, talking to a friend for hours on the phone, or chasing after your giggling children, who live for today, and don't think about what tomorrow will bring.  Fleeting moments in time.