Goal Update: March 20, 2012

I woke up super early this morning.  I lay in bed thinking of 5000 thoughts, as I always do when I have insomnia.

I thought of work yesterday, Taekwondo, friends, family, problems.  I thought of how Darling Daughter looked so cute in her little leotard and how proud I was of how she decided to stop clinging to me and stepped off onto the floor yesterday.  She found herself bouncing along on the trampoline, then she did the balance beam, and jumped off the mats.  Then all of a sudden, she was having a good time.  Just like that.  A snap of the fingers, and her mood changed.  I was more surprised than anyone else there, after she clung to my arms for the last four weeks!

My little princess in her new leotard!

I thought about good things and bad things.  I thought of problems I need to deal with.  I thought about how I signed up for Pinterest, but I don't really have time to search the net and pin things to an imaginary board.  I thought about how funny our world has become, obsessed with computer and technology.  I'm one of those people, so no judgement. 

Then I decided to wake up, step out of bed, have a cup of coffee and write. 

My weight loss and exercise goals are going splendidly.  I'm a little obsessed.  Ok, really I'm a lot obsessed.  I feel the need to go to Taekwondo at least five times a week.  I NEED to go.  I physically feel so much better when I have had my afternoon workout.  The exercise balances me out.  I enjoy the atmosphere too, usually, and the people who go so that makes it more worthwhile.  My weight stayed the same this week.  A few things happened.  I completely lost my appetite, and several days MyFitnessPal told me I wasn't eating enough calories.  Sometimes, I just don't have time to eat dinner.  I'll be at gymnastics with one of the kids, drop him/her off with Rob, and keep going.  I don't want to stuff a sandwich down my throat before working out for an hour, and afterwards it's usually 8:30 or 8:45, and who wants to eat that late?  Anyway, it's harder to lose weight when your body goes in starvation mood, so I started making a concerted effort to actually eat. 

Then on Saturday, we had a BBQ.  Or, um, a grill out.  Whatever the heck it is called!  I drank A LOT, and I ate potato salad A LOT and cole slaw A LOT.  Oh, and I had one piece of key lime pie.  YUMMY!!!  One day won't kill you, but the next day I had a piece of chocolate mousse pie.  I then took that to my co-workers so they could indulge and make their thighs bigger, instead of me making mine bigger!!!

So anyway, after a weekend of eating and drinking A LOT, I jumped back on the wagon yesterday.  So all this to say, no weight loss this weekend.  I maintained.

As far as tennis goes, Hubby and I are still playing.  We played once last week on Tuesday.  When we were done I was pouring sweat.  I don't know how we're going to play as it gets hotter and hotter.  I will have to bring a lot of deodorant, and probably leave my hair off for an hour or so afterwards.  That's the nice thing about not having hair.  It can't get sweaty if you don't let it.  I'm really dreading the 120 degree summer heat we have coming to us.  Since it is almost 90 degrees in March, I know we must be in for it this summer!

Marriage is constantly on my list of goals.  I had some good and some not-so-good memories of Hubby's and my past this week.  We had our anniversary of meeting.  We mention it every year.  I guess getting past the hump of ten years was a huge accomplishment.  Marriage is so hard though.  Communication and trust are key players, and when they are missing it can make everything seem so much worse than it really is.  I read a little bit about companionate love this week.  I thought about companionate love in relationships versus romantic love, limerent love, infatuation and passion.  I tried to think about these concepts of love in my relationship with Hubby.  I keep telling myself it takes two people to tango, and when one is all in and the other isn't then it's not going to work.  I know this is vague, but I'm not willing to go into details on here.  So let's just leave it at the fact that I need to put myself more "in" to help fix the problems that have cropped up over the last eleven years.

Writing has become sort of natural to me.  I write every day now.  I sit down and work on my story for a few minutes each day.  Some days I make a ton of progress, but other days it is slow going.  I just go with the flow.  Some days I wonder where my characters are going, and what they are thinking.  It's interesting though, because it's almost like they begin to take on personalities of their own.  I know what they would and wouldn't do.  I know how they will treat each other, and how they will react to certain situations.  Character development is almost like familiarizing yourself with a newborn baby, and slowly watching this/her personality develop.  I love it, and it is a wonderful outlet for me.  I have not submitted anything yet, because I just don't think I'm ready.  I'm getting there though.