Friday, April 11, 2014


When I was a little, I used to live for Fridays.  I loved NBC's lineup of TGIF.  Step by Step and Boy Meets World, and whatever else used to come by.  I'd sit down on the couch and decompress while watching hours of television, and probably stuffing popcorn in my face too. 

This Friday, I feel like I need a day like that.  My week has been crazy busy with lots of after-work activities.  Number Two and Darling Daughter started swimming lessons this week.  I had out of the house activities on Wednesday and Thursday nights: a dinner and then a baby shower.  And the whole work week has been a little chaotic as I settle back into my regular routine, since I finished up training another employee last week.  And this week, one of my co-workers who actually babysits for us has been struggling, because her father was hospitalized and in critical condition.  I've been worrying about her and thinking about her, and it's one of those times I wish I believed in something so I could pray for her and her father. 

I sometimes do pray, but I don't know who the prayers are offered up to, just to add my thoughts to the collective prayer.  And there is no question collective prayer works.  There have been studies on it, and people who are prayed for have a better outcome than people who aren't. 

I came home last night from the baby shower, after a long day, and my boys were on the couch.  Number One was reading the Bible to Number Two.

He came up and said, "Mommy--do you have a magnifying glass, because the words in this Bible are so small?" 

I laughed and said, "No, but you have good eyes!" 

I walked into the bathroom and Hubby followed me to ask me about my day.  I made a passing comment, "The boys are going to be so religious."

"So.  That could be a good thing, Lauren," Hubby said. 

I nodded, "Yes.  Maybe it'll give them some purpose.  Help them from being sad."

Sometimes, I feel like it would be so easy to be religious and just to BELIEVE.  I remember the wonder and joy as a child of believing in Santa Claus.  I remember going to church and BELIEVING Jesus could walk on water.  I'd love to have that belief re-instilled in me, to put aside all doubt, but my thinking mind won't let me.  My thinking mind questions why religions have to create hate, judgment and wars. My thinking mind likes the beliefs of love, society, togetherness, doing good to others, not judging others, and allowing everyone to have the same rights: happiness, marriage, children, enough food in their bellies, enough clean water to drink; without discrimination.  Human nature is to discriminate though, and I guess no matter what inequalities will never cease to exist.  We will play out the same wars over and over again, each time with new actors. 

But believing in someone who can save, and believing in someone who can take your prayers and heal, that has to be worth it to a lot of people. Having a guiding voice in your head who acts like a father figure and  you which path you should take: maybe this is the joy a lot of people receive from religion.  To me, because my brain won't stop, it's just another thing I question. 

And don't worry.  Number One is definitely being exposed to all sorts of religions.  The other day he offered up a prayer to Zeus, because he wanted the rain to stop.  That kid is currently obsessed with the Greek Gods.  Thanks Percy Jackson!

How's that for TGIF? A little too deep, I think.  Now I think I'll read a little chick lit before my day begins, and tonight I'll sit on the couch with some popcorn and a beer and catch up a little bit on House of Cards. 

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