It’s been awhile since I blogged. I type that after every blog break, so now
that we have that out of the way….
Yes, I’m still bald, although I have grown some baby hairs
on my head. My Dad has some crazy
medical term for them, which he throws around like everyone will remember and
know what he’s talking about. I can’t
remember that term, so I just call them “baby hairs.”
I quit Taekwondo. I
needed a break. I’ve started taking
Zumba, and it’s funny, because I thought I’d really miss Taekwondo but I
don’t. I do miss seeing my Taekwondo friends, but I don't really miss the actual art of TKD. I guess it served its purpose for
me at a certain time in my life and now it’s time to move on to something new
and exciting! In retrospect, Taekwondo
did get me out of the house a lot and it kept me exercising. Without it, I have to be a lot more self
motivated.
Sometimes I can motivate myself almost to the moon and other
times I’m just so lazy. I really like to
be lazy, until I start feeling guilty about how lazy I am, and I start
wondering if I’ll die of one of those medical terms my dad and sister are
always throwing around because I just can’t get off my ass and I just have to
watch one more episode of “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia,” starring an old
high school acquaintance of mine: Glenn Howerton. You know, medical terms like
cardiac Infraction, thrombosis or sepsis.
Although, I don’t think you can get sepsis just from being lazy and
overweight, unless you’re too lazy to go to the doctor or something.
So now that I have all this time you’d think I’d be
productive or something. One day I did
clean the whole house. The downstairs
has actually stayed mostly clean, due to my husband’s daily efforts. I’ve noticed I clean when I get disgusted
with myself or the way things look, but I’m not good at the everyday
cleaning. I’m good at the OCD, OMG,
“this better be absolutely clean, and now I have to spend eight hours doing it,
because if I’m going to do it then it better be perfect” type cleaning. Then afterwards, it makes me unhappy and the
rest of the family, because I freak when people don’t put things back where
they belong, and I start to remind myself of my mother (she’s an absolutely
wonderful human being, btw, but she’s an obsessive cleaner, and I don’t want to
be one!!!).
I should be editing or writing, or something along those
lines but instead I’ve been to Zumba a handful of times, started, painfully
slowly I might add, trying to run again, and watched too much Netflix. I haven’t even read a book. Maybe it’s the winter funk, or maybe everyone
just needs a break now and then, but I’d like to find my way back to a goal…AND
SOON.
I did send a little essay off to The Ladies’ Home Journal on
“The Best Decision I’ve Ever Made.” The
Ladies’ Home Journal seems so reminiscent of the 1950s, doesn’t it? You can just imagine all the ladies sitting
around exchanging recipes with their beehive hair-dos and their Tupperware
parties. Good times. I didn’t follow the rules on my first entry,
and even though it said “only one entry per person,” I resubmitted the entry
again with the correct double spacing and identification information. What can I say? I’m a rule breaker, or maybe I’m just not so
good at following directions.
I still hope to e-publish my novel on Amazon. My brother has been super busy with his own
life, so he hasn’t been able to finish the cover art. Once it’s done, I’ll e-publish. In the meantime, I need to get back to
writing some more. I finished the second
novel, but I haven’t edited any of it.
It’s been hard for me to think about going back and reading it, as it
was not a happy book. I have two other
novels in the work, but I feel blah about them, and I’m not sure why.
I’m happy with my life, but I want to accomplish more, and I
just have to find a sustainable way to do that.
I need to figure out how to go about publishing my work, gaining
publicity, and getting to a point where I can write for the rest of my life and
make a living off of it, plus be happy doing it! I know these things take time, and I guess
I’m just impatient. I only JUST started
writing again, and a lot of writing is about practice and making your writing
better by simply doing it every single day.
My characters need more depth, more feeling, and my settings need more
description without being wordy. These
are all things I stay up and ponder about, because I think about every single
aspect of my life. I worry about things,
and I question myself, and I question my decisions. I would love to be a risk taker and just
throw myself out there and be confident that I’ll succeed. That’s what it takes. It’s just getting there.
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