Update: Since It's Been an Eternity

I did 2 miles today.  On my way to meet my challenge for the week.  One of my biggest complaints is I'm so slow.  I complained to my sister yesterday about that, via text, and she said don't worry about the speed, worry about the mileage.  Speed will come if you run more.

She's right.  Today I did an 11.23 minute mile and then a 10.21 minute mile.  The whole time I was complaining to myself.  Does anyone else do this while they exercise?  I swear, everyone in the world tells me I'm too positive, but when I exercise I am negative to myself!  I tell myself, "This is stupid. Why am I running?  I hate running!  I hate exercise."  Maybe it's getting past that negativity that gives you the runner's high?  Who knows!

I felt good when I finished today, and I know I'm going to put myself out there tomorrow...and.every.other.day.this.week!

In other news, Darling Daughter and I are going to see Disney Live on Thursday night.  I can't wait to have a date with this little cutie:

Not the big guy on the right.  That's her Uncle who recently came to visit.  Darling Daughter is so funny lately.  She tells me about a hundred times a day, "Mommy, I love you.  Mommy, you're my best friend!"  Melt my heart!  She still has short hair, and when anyone comments on it she says, "Don't worry--it'll grow!"  I guess she's heard me say that about a million times.  She is still in love with flip flops.  They are her favorite.  I bought her new ones last week, and we were walking out at Eastchase, and every person she would see, she would say, "Don't you love my flip flops?"  There's not a shy bone in her!

Number Two is doing fairly well too.  He is loving soccer this season.  He was just in an off Broadway production of Bugz, where he played the star roll of Firefly.  He had four lines, which he recited dutifully, but without a smile.  He looked like he might throw up from nerves for most of the play!  He continues to listen and be the most help out of all the kids.  He's always willing to help out, and he is usually our most laid back child, but boy, can he throw some fits!  He has a loud streak in him, and he will scream and shout, sometimes when he's just trying to talk to you.

 

 



And last, but not least, is my biggest one of all: Number One.  Number One will celebrate his double digit birthday this year: how time flies!  He came in 3rd all around at the Alabama Men's State Gymnastic Meet. His team came in first.  He continues to excel at school.  He is a daredevil, and he's always getting hurt.  He recently ran into a parked car on his bike, and he had a black eye for about two weeks.  He can be so sweet to his sister, Darling Daughter, and he can be so sweet to us but he also suffers from the Mommy Temper (same temper I used to have!).  Overall, he's doing so well and I'm so proud of him.  He shows me every day how disciplined and motivated he is, and he is an inspiration to me. 

What does 2013 Hold?

I can hardly believe this year is over.  2012 was a trying year for me and my family.  We went through a lot of hard times, but a lot of good times too.  I think I've probably grown into myself more this year than any other year since college.  Losing my hair was a huge wake up call for me for some reason (some people might say that's post traumatic stress syndrome).  I've discovered what it takes for me to motivate myself though and to live my dreams, every day.  I don't feel lost the way I did at the beginning of last year. I feel happier, more well rounded, and healthier.  I feel like I'm a better person, a better mother, and maybe a better wife (on a good day). 

This year has been hard for some of my family members too, but all of us have had some pretty major accomplishments. 

Hubby pretty much started out the year by tearing is Achilles tendon.  He was recovering from this the rest of the year, until about September.  After a second surgery to treat Staph, he quit smoking.  QUIT SMOKING!!!  What a major accomplishment for him!  I am beyond proud of him, as this was something he's been struggling with since his teenage years.  He took my lead and began exercising and losing weight too.  We both looked at our demons, and we both started dealing with them...apart and now together. 

Son Number One finished up first grade and started second.  His grades continue to be in the all A range, and we were super proud that he made an A in conduct the first nine weeks!  How thrilling for him.  He also joined the gymnastics's team and attended his first meet, coming in third all around.  He has found his passion, and there is nothing better for a parent than seeing your child do something they love. 

Son Number Two started preschool, and I realized he has a brain...and he's smart!  He has always been my quiet child (except he has a very loud voice--I know so funny!), and I really did not know he knew as much as he did.  He can add!  He has made great friends in preschool, and he fits in well, as usual causing me no problems on that front.  I'm so proud of my little guy.  In other news, he finally moved on from Lightning McQueen to Ninjago.  He still likes Lightning, but he's not as obsessed with him as he used to be.

And Darling Daughter, my one and only girl.  She has grown from a one year old to a terrific two year old.  She is demanding, funny, sweet, and my little shadow. She follows me everywhere.  She loves to give kisses.  I love how when she wants my attention, she'll take her still-pudgy baby hands and move my face towards her and then make her eyes round orbits as she talks to me.  She is adorable and she's a handful!

What about me?  This year has been so up and down for me.  At times, I just wanted it to be over.  I wanted everything to change.  2012 has been about change for me and growing.  I think I finally discovered what it takes to make myself happy. I cried a lot this year, laughed a lot, wrote a lot, exercised a lot, and I began to accept myself for who I am.

I really came to terms with my hair loss this year.  I began experimenting with going out without wigs and hats. I do think I need a tee-shirt that says: I don't have Cancer, It's Alopecia, overall people have been really nice and just ask questions about why I'm bald.  I like the way I look bald, and besides being cold in the winter and having to wear more suntan lotion on my head it doesn't really bother me.  At some point, I'd love to give up my wigs all together, but I'm not sure if my work environment is ready for that quite yet!

I lost almost 60 pounds!!!  I turned my life around, completely changing my lifestyle and began setting a good example for my kids.  I exercise almost every day, and we eat a lot healthier and a lot less than we used to.  This was definitely one of my biggest accomplishments this year!

I really began to write again, and I realized that writing is a huge part of my life.  I hadn't been writing, almost since college, and something was missing.  As a writer, I have this need to put my ideas and stories on paper.  Since I've been writing every day, I feel like I have accomplished so much.  My goal next year is to finish my novel (over halfway done now) and to produce some short stories and try to get them published. 

I'm excited to see what next year holds!!! 

 Bring on 2013!!!!

Time Marches On

Time Marches On

I'm having a hard time believing that we're ending 2012 so soon.  There are officially only 24 days left of this year.  At times, it has seemed to fly by, and at other times it has dragged on and on, but the last few months have passed so quickly it seems unreal. 

The thing about time is you can never stop it to hold onto what you have at that very moment.  Everything changes.  Last night, as I was driving home in the car I glanced back at my 4 year old son and my 8 year old son, and in my mind I thought, "I want them to stay this way forever."  I thought about Number One at 4 years old, and I had a hard time picturing his face each year afterwards.  The years drift by, the children grow up.  It all goes so quickly. 

This year was good and bad for me, as most years are for everyone.  I really struggled with Hubby hurting his leg.  I struggled with my own demons too for most of the year, and I finally feel settled, happy even.  I made many of my goals.  I changed my whole life for the better, by losing weight and exercising.  I finally began to accept that I will probably be bald for the rest of my life.  (Except for some reason, I have not accepted that I will not have eyebrows). 

Hubby and I finally got the house cleaned (literally--and mostly due to his efforts I must say!).  We also finally posted rules for the kids, and became more consistent in our disciplining of them. 

I have goals for next year too, but I know as soon as I blink an eye tax season will be here, and then Halloween and then Christmas 2013, and we will be turning the calendars to 2014 before I know it.  Be thankful for what you have and appreciate each and every day, because time moves so fast.