Finding Balance

I think the thing I hear most from my friends, family and other writers is, "How in the world do you find time to write with three kids?" I also get this question about how I find time to read. And the answer is simple: you make time to do what you love.  Do what you love, and you'll love what you do. That's my new mantra. Excuses take away from success, so I'm done making excuses in every part of my life.

But, that said, I still find it hard to achieve balance in my life. I become so absorbed with my characters when I'm writing that they seem to be living with me. I think about them in the shower, when I'm eating, and when I'm watching Number Two play basketball. I think about how they'd react to a certain person, what they would say, and even what they would order at a restaurant. Writers are a little crazy like that: they always have someone else living in their heads.

On Monday, Darling Daughter was diagnosed with double ear infections. I'm hoping she won't need tubes again, but she may. When I came home from the day job that night, I was on a mission to put "No Turning Back" on Createspace, order my cover and spine. Nothing could get in my way, and as a result I sat on the couch with the computer as kiddos clambered over me, but mostly I ignored them. And I felt bad. I felt bad the next day when Darling Daughter woke up and crawled into my lap, throwing her arms around me (still, and not for much longer, smelling a little bit like a baby), and kissed me on the cheek. She said, "I love you Mommy."  And my heart melted, and I decided I would have to take a day off from (or rather the night off) from writing, editing, or doing the next thing that needed to get done on Tuesday. I needed to spend time with the kids. So we went to my Mom and Dad's house, and Darling Daughter followed my Mom around while I watched Rio with Hubby and Number Two. Number One was busy at the gym perfecting his kip on the high bars.

Still, I felt better that night, like I had been present for them.  And to top it all off, Number Two and I read "The Giving Tree," before bed. And I told him how giving and caring he is, and how I'm envious of those qualities that seem to reside in his soul.

Balance is hard for me. When I get absorbed in a work-in-progress, it's hard for me to pull myself away.  How do you find balance between your work/life?  Having a day job, kids, and trying to write (more or less full time) is tricky business.

The World of Writing

Yesterday, I finally downloaded iTunes to my new computer.  I need the music for writing, but instead I played the Sims and blogged about the past.  I've had a problem with procrastination this week.  I attribute it to the fact, that mostly, I've been feeling under the weather.

I had an asthma attack yesterday morning.  I hadn't had one in almost five years.  I sort of knew it was coming.  I keep waking up to cough at night, and I cough almost every time I exercise.  All of these are signs of asthma.  I felt puny from it until about noon, and then I sort of rebounded and felt better. 

I think the lack of exercise is getting to me, and due to the asthma attack yesterday, I didn't ride the bike at all.  I'm feeling like I'm getting out of my routine exercise-wise, and it's driving me nuts.  I like the outlet.  And speaking of outlets: let's talk about writing for a bit...

I've been slowly submitting my first work to agents.  I am also almost constantly editing. I've added a few more aspects to my character, tried to make her real, three dimensional.  I had a lot of feedback that she seemed cold, out-of-touch, heartless in her relationship...so I changed that.  I didn't want her to come across like some heartless person.  I wanted her to come across as a person who needed to make a tough decision in her life to see where she needed to go next.  We've all been through that right? Tough decisions.

The revision process is hard.  I actually really hate it.  I hate reading through and trying to act like I have new eyes.  I hate adding and cutting, and trying to add feeling that wasn't there in the first place.  In fact, I found a great cartoon that shows exactly the way I feel when I revise, except for I do my revisions on the computer, not on paper.  Don't kill all those trees!

From: http://secondary-writing-instruction.wikispaces.com/The+Writing+Process

I received three rejections in a span of two days.  I've made a spreadsheet to catalog who I've sent out to, who has sent me rejections and who I haven't heard from.  I still have four out there I haven't heard from.  I haven't submitted at all this week, because mostly I've been working on a new piece.

I was taking a different route and working on a piece of historical fiction from the 1920's, but I haven't had time to research.  I had some inspiration from the Boston bombings recently, and I spun another story, which is surprisingly easy to write.  In fact, the words just roll out, and much less research is involved (although still some--there is always some).  I actually am feeling pretty good about this new work, and I've already written about 10,000 words.  I work on it every day, and it seems to be coming together. 

I'm reading Rust Hills, "Writing in General and The Short Story In Particular," and so far it's ok.  I tend to question how much an actual book or actual class can teach you about writing.  I'm sure I could learn something about structure, flow, plot, character sketches, but I tend to write without an outline.  The story is just drawn out of me like coal from a mine, somewhere deep inside where it's stored, and then it pours out onto the paper.  I think most natural writers have this tendency, and maybe there is something to learn from the plotters and planners, but I haven't found it yet.  I've never been a plotter.  Still, I'll gleam some hint of new information from this book and others that I read, even if it just propels me to write and to submit more, then it is useful. 

That's where I am in the world of writing.  I'm getting organized, finding out how to submit, where to submit, and what to do.  Eventually I will get published, even if it takes the rest of my life.

Form Letter Rejection

Lately I've been writing.  I've been editing.  I've been attempting to write a "good" (by whose standards?) query letter.  I've started querying agents.  This process seems to be: a) long, b) tedious and c) totally, utterly frustrating. 

I think one of the hardest things for an author is to try to have their work published.  I may be a superb writer (I'm not--I'm still learning every single day!) and have no chance of getting my work published if an agent doesn't look at it and feel it will sell in the world of what everyone wants to read.  Plus now there is self-publishing.  Is it even worth it to go the route of traditional publishing? 

I say, yes, because the publishers can market your book, get the word out.  The fact is, most first time authors do not even see any royalties off of their books.  They sell a few copies, and most of that money goes straight to pay for the editing, the print job, and to pay all the people who helped by not giving you a BIG FAT REJECTION!!!

As you can tell, I received two rejections yesterday.  I know in the scheme of things this is not a big deal.  I've just started out and rejections are part of the business.  Plus, the rejections came so quickly it told me my query letter was really not up to par.  I worked on the letter, and I think I have a bit of a better format.  Some people query 50 agents at a time, but I'm doing about 5 at a time, because honestly I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING!  I wish I was in the publishing or editing business and knew even an inkling of the information about how the publishing world works. 

I have read a lot of blogs lately, including the blogs of the agents I've queried.  These blogs contain great tips for writing query letters, getting recognition, and not giving up when you receive those little rejection slips.  Agents are bombarded with query letters, and if yours does not grab their attention right away, or stand out as totally amazing, then it will go in the Slush pile and receive the automatic REJECT notice.  Rejection is part of life, and I'm getting used to it.  I just have to polish and make it better.

Here are a few of the websites I've been reading about query letters.  I received rejections from both of these ladies, who were probably way out of my league anyway:

Bent on Books: Jenny Bent of the Bent Agency.  I'd loved to be signed with her, as I've read on Writer's Forum she is simply amazing to work with.  On to the next project!

Pub Rants: The Nelson Agency.  I queried Kristin Nelson. 

Back to the chopping block....

An Update for the Weary

This week has been busy and hectic, and I haven't been writing.  Writing at all is better than no writing at all. I've been slowly editing my first draft of my book.  I'm not ready to send it anywhere yet.  I've been slowly working on my second work, plus a short story that seems to be going nowhere fast.  The key word this week: slow. I'm thinking about entering some writing contests too, but I haven't quite gotten there.  I receive emails almost daily from Writer's Digest about some contest or other, and I think maybe it would be a good way to get some recognition making it easier to be published in the long run. So what have I been up to if I haven't been writing or working out or blogging:

Mostly I've been reading.  I'm trying to finish Cloud Atlas.  I absolutely love this book.  Second great book I've read in a row, after finishing Heart of Darkness last week.  Apparently the movie, Apocalypse Now, is based on Heart of Darkness (Oh how I love Wikipedia!).  I'd like to see it, as I never have.  I spent some time with a friend from Taekwondo trying to pull it up on his Netflix, but alas Wi-fi failed us.  There's so much riding on technology these days: such as your next good flick! 

Also, at work I've been quite busy the last couple of days.  I didn't get home until almost 6:00 last night.  All hopes I had of an evening run were squashed, when I sat on the couch with an Amber Ale and I could not force my body to move.  It took all I had to walk up the stairs and read to the kids, much less eat, although Hubby did make some incredible enchiladas.

Speaking of kids, Number One was allergy tested yesterday.  It's about time!  He has dust mite allergies, tree pollen and grass.  Dust mites!  This is bad news for Hubby and me who are notoriously bad cleaners.  Have you ever looked at how much dust mite covers cost?  Gees!  So now Number One is on Flonase and a daily pill for his allergies.  Maybe this will rid him of his almost constant sore throats and headaches.  Here's hoping.  We'll probably wait to invest in dust mite covers until Number Two has been tested (next week).  We already know from experience that Number Two is allergic to cats and dogs, so we'll just wait for his back to light up like a Christmas Tree!!!

Running, I didn't have a good, witty lead in to this subject as it is getting me down.  My running days might be numbered. I want to do a 5K in April, and in fact I've already commited to doing one.  Taekwondo is on a short break this weekend, so I'll see how a few good runs feel on my leg.  I haven't run since last week, and my leg feels great.  I just keep reinjurying it every.time.I.run, and I've had some people (MY DAD) tell me that I should quit running and start cycling.  My answer to that, oh so maturely, is, "I don't wann!"  I love the way running makes me feel.  I love the accomplishment.  I've done the cycling thing before (in college), and I liked it but running just makes me feel different: liberated, free, like I'm flying.  I can't exactly explain the feeling, but it's wonderful. 

I'm sorry if there are misspellings in this edition.  For some reason Blogger Spellcheck has decided it's time to quit, even though I'm not done writing.  Not thinking there will be a weight loss or exercise edition this week, as I've been too busy eating Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream, thus not following my own advice!!!

Let the Editing Begin

Yesterday, I started the editing process.  It is a HUGE step in the right direction.  It's also a HUGE job, and I felt slightly overwhelmed reading through my work and wondering who the heck wrote it.  That's the way I'm supposed to feel so I can make the necessary changes, right?

After this, I need to work on a query letter and let about 400 people read it so I can make sure it looks its best.  Send to agents who are soliciting new authors. Then just wait for the rejection letters to roll in...and if I'm lucky, an acceptance. 

I did a little bit of reading about query letters yesterday and about rejection slips.  I also perused some contests coming up, and I'm debating writing a short story for one or two of them.  Short stories aren't my thing: novels are, but I think short stories are a good way to get recognized and maybe if I submit enough of them I could win a contest or two to add some experience to my query letter.

Speaking of experience: I have none.  I wasn't on the newspaper in high school, not an English major, never really wrote for anyone but myself until this year.  This is all new to me, and it is still slightly overwhelming.  I'm proud of my work though, and I DO want other people to read what I wrote. 

I started the short story yesterday, about a little girl coping with Alopecia Areata for the first time.  This sounds familiar, right?  Writing about this is somewhat cathartic for me, and even though the little girl in the story is not me, I had some of the same fears and thoughts that she did when I first started losing my hair.  I struggled with accepting myself, and honestly some days I still do.  But I think the story will be good because it comes from my heart.  I have the general idea in my head and now it's just a question of how to par it down to 6,000 words.  Six thousand words is awfully small, especially when you're used to writing novels and not short stories.