Christmas Eve is Here Again

It's Christmas Eve, and I can hardly believe that this year has flown by so quickly.  I'm working a half day today, then I'll be home with my family to sing Christmas carols, eat, drink and be merry.  The kids are off the wall with excitement, dreaming about Lego Ninjagos, dollhouses, and all the other toys they may get from Santa Claus tomorrow morning. 

Here's what last Christmas looked like, and tomorrow I'll see what this Christmas looks like.  How fast they grow and how quickly the years slip by.  Enjoy every single moment you have with your children, because childhood is so fleeting.

I woke up this morning ready to run.  I needed to after spending much of yesterday on the couch or holding a sick child or sleeping.  I watched Glee pretty much all day long and indulged in potato chips.  I wrote about 5,000 more words of my novel, bringing my total now to 40,000 (roughly 150 pages).  I started reading, "For Whom the Bell Tolls," which promises to be a good book even if it does seem somewhat depressing.  I didn't exercise, unless you count the 25 minutes I jumped on the trampoline while all the kids were with their dad at the doctor being diagnosed with sinus infections. 

Some days it's super nice to be lazy.  I woke up with a plan to go running today.  I opened the door to the cats mewing, and alas it has already started raining here in Alabama.  The beginning of the Christmas storm has made it's way towards us so my feet won't hit the pavement. 

I'm okay with that.  I'll get back to running in a few days.  For today, I'm going to enjoy work.  I'm going to come home and enjoy my kids, my dad, my brother and his family.  I'm going to take joy in the fact that I have a family to share this wonderful time with.  I'm going to delight in the looks of my children's face tomorrow morning as they creep down the stairs and see what Santa left them. 

As I write this, the music of Pachelbel's Canon has begun playing on my Pandora, raising my spirits even more.

Merry Christmas Everyone!  May Yours be Shiny and Bright!!!

On Being a Working Parent

Being a working parent is like being drawn and quartered by horses.  Ok, that’s a bad analogy, but seriously it is like being pulled in multiple directions at once!  Here’s a diagram for y’all:

Really, there should be more than four though, because this doesn’t even begin to describe the chaos that is my everyday life.  Plus, they should be interconnected, like a Venn diagram.  My experience with the Paint application is limited.

I tried to focus on the positive, instead of the negative.  Descriptive words such as “joy” and “love” are in the same box as the kids, instead of words like “guilt” and “frustration”.  The truth is all of the aforementioned emotions come with being a parent, and are normal to feel.

I remember the overwhelming J-O-Y I felt when each of my children was handed to me after being born.  I remember crying upon seeing their little faces and immediately feeling unconditional
L-O-V-E for them.  I also remember feeling so G-U-I-L-T-Y when I had to return to work, with each one of them; somehow scared that the hours apart from me would scar them for the rest of their lives.

But being a working parent is fulfilling to me.  Oh, I certainly have days where I hem and haw, and I don’t want to go to work, and I would die to be a stay at home mom.  But, I also have days where I go to work, and I enjoy my co-workers and generally enjoy my job.  I have established
R-E-L-A-T-I-O-N-S-H-I-P-S through work that I would not have otherwise.  I know my kids are being well taken care of and they are learning how to interact with their peers while I’m away.  I also find infinite pleasure in their little faces when I pick them up from school every day, so excited to see their Mommy!

I never knew how hectic life could be, trying to fit everything in.  Sometimes it’s enough to drive you crazy!  Some people find solace in schedules, but I honestly find them entirely useless.  I’ve probably spent the better half of seven years, printing and ignoring schedules.  I don’t like to be put in a box.  I don’t like the routine.  I think working, despite chaos of life, has helped me establish a sense of my S-E-L-F, and to realize what I still need to work on. 

Being a working parent is about weaving all of these boxes together, and coming up with a way to handle the time constraints without losing your sanity.  I’ve had to learn to focus on the positive in my life: the love for my children, the kinship with my friends, and the faithfulness of my husband.  Doing this makes me feel like all of different aspects of “the boxes” are worth it.

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